Who is the boss's favourite in your office?

Hi, I am looking forward to our chat today

by Barbara Moses 5/11/2012 3:41:04 PM
Welcome Barbara!
Thanks for joining us today to discuss the issue of office favourites, or office pets. We'll begin our chat at noon. As a reminder to our readers, you can send in questions (by typing in the box and hitting Comment Now) and your question will go into our lineup. No one will see it until I post the question. Barbara will answer questions as they come in. Thanks!

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 3:44:20 PM
We also have a poll on office favourites on the Globe home page if you'd like to add your voice there:

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 3:51:44 PM
Here's the link: www.theglobeandmail.com

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 3:52:04 PM
This week's Nine To Five column also dealt with the issue of being included or excluded at your office: Help! My co-workers have ditched me tgam.ca

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 3:53:54 PM
It's noon now, so why don't we begin. Barbara, leaders having favourites goes back to the beginning of time, I think. How prevalent is it in today's office environment?

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 3:59:00 PM
It's extremely prevalent. One recent study found that 92% of executives used favouritism in deciding who to promote...

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:00:04 PM
I think most boss's have favourites in the sense that we are all naturally more drawn to some people than others. And no matter how much managers are trained to be objective, it is simply human nature.

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:01:17 PM
Here's a question from a reader: Are there certain types of bosses who are more likely to have pets? Why?

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:02:33 PM
Introverts are more likely to play favourites than are extraverts because they are more "selective" in who they like. For example in one famous study, when people were asked to rate their co-workers, introverts had a much larger gap between most favourite and least favourite co-worker than did extraverts...

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:04:24 PM
Similarly women, because they are more likely to want to connect with someone at an emotional level than men, who tend to be more dispassionate, are more likely to have favourites.

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:05:16 PM
Here's another question from a reader: You said in your column that some bosses are unaware they are playing favourites – why are they not aware? Do they have their head in the sand?

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:07:37 PM
Most of us have behaviors which we are blissfully unaware of. People with more emotional intelligence are obviously more self-aware....

by Barbara Moses 5/11/2012 4:08:46 PM
Bosses who play favourites might defensively tell themselves that the don't have pets, it is just that Peter is more talented. And it may not even be defensive- sometimes Peter is indeed more talented!

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:09:56 PM
Another question from a reader: How can you deal with a boss who chooses their favourite (who is incompetent) over more qualified employees when it comes to promotions and special tasks?

by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:11:17 PM
That is a tough one. First you have to be absolutely certain that the person is in fact incompetent relative to others...

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:12:09 PM
Then you need to think about who you can trust. Often people will go to HR or their boss's if they beleive they are trust-worthy...

by Barbara Moses 5/11/2012 4:13:02 PM
But be careful. Sometimes these confidences can be betrayed. And one more piece of advice- even if you think someone is incompetent, don't slag them. Point to examples of how people who have accomplishments are passed over.

by Barbara Moses 5/11/2012 4:14:11 PM
Hi, Barbara. I have a question. My boss is organising an event to which some of my colleagues have been invited and some have not. This is awkward, since we all work together. I have been invited and, if I know what's good for me, I will go. But it feels wrong and unfair, and I am not sure how to deal with it. I don't think she realises what she is doing, and I am not close enough to her to tell her. Advice, please.

by SV 5/11/2012 4:14:27 PM
If I were in your position, and I know this is difficult, I would have a word with the boss about the impact of her behaviour....

by Barbara Moses edited by Gillian Livingston 5/11/2012 4:15:44 PM

Who is the boss's favourite in your office?

Barbara Moses discusses workplace "pets" or favourites